The first day of Daylight Savings Time burst forth today with temperatures reaching the mid 50's. While waiting in my vehicle in the grocery store parking lot for Bill to do some shopping, I observed several in short sleeves striding purposefully to and from the store. I assume the wonderful weather had added some energy and a boost to their purpose of the moment.
The physically young looked relaxed and happy to be enjoying this beautiful day. Those with more age seemed to walk a little slower, almost a little tentative, as if not quite believing that the worst of winter was over. The last week has been difficult for many families in this town. There have been several deaths. The people who passed were generally 50 or older, which still seems young and a shock and tremendous loss. Somehow it seems harder to just bounce back when faced with so many losses in the village. I find myself privately shaking my head and telling myself that this is a part of life. I wonder how many others grieve privately this week and the coming weeks, trying to make some sense of a death due to cancer or suicide or car accident.
I find myself turning to the Bible for answers and comfort for my own disquiet and questions. I feel on edge and anxious. I read inspirational meditations that I receive daily in my email. It all helps, but I still feel a hollow place inside.
It's been a glorious early Spring day. Why would one think such thoughts when the sun is shining, the sky is a bright blue, and the breeze gradually warms during the day? Maybe knowing there is darkness in the light, makes the light and warmth even more so to me.
Finding answers to these thoughts may not be my goal today. Being able to express my questions may be all that can fulfilled for me. In the asking, there is a sense of fulfillment. And that may fill up the hollowness a little bit.
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